Prologue
It took me a while to realize what happened. I knew right away that I had been knocked unconscious somehow. The Force works in mysterious ways. I have never heard of-much less-experienced being conscious of the fact that I was no longer conscious. Like being aware of the fact that you’re dreaming. The reason behind why I was knocked out in the first place remained a mystery to me for what seemed like hours.
The last thing I remember is asking the young Padawan if I could tag along. “The more the merrier,” had been his response.
I slowly peaced together what happened after that. I had raced down the corridor like a nexu chasing it’s prey, charged into the cockpit of the Ghost and took the co-pilot seat, all the while thinking that I had only seen that kind of flying from one person.
We quickly caught up to the TIE fighter that was responsible for wreaking havoc on our command ship with the rest of Phoenix squadron forming up for an attack run, piloting their signature A-wings. As we neared the modified TIE, I could sense through the Force what I had sensed only a few times before; fighting that Sith assassin-turned Bounty Hunter Asajj Ventress, and when I journeyed to Mustifar with my former Master early on in my Padawan career. The being flying ahead of us was tainted by the Dark Side.
And yet, it seemed somehow familiar. My curiosity got the better of me; I had to know who was piloting that fighter. With the help of my fellow Jedi, Kanan Jarrus, I stretched my mind ahead of us to one-ship-fleet. Time seemed to slow as I focused on the familiarity of the man. I melted into the Force, aware only of myself, the strength from Kanan’s hand on my shoulder, and him.
He felt so fearful, so angry, so . . . cold. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before, and yet, there was the part I was familiar with, buried so deep in the Dark Side. It took all of my willpower not to break the connection: I dug deeper, like a farmer digging a well. I knew I would hit my water soon.
Suddenly, there it was! But the realization was overwhelming. The last thought I had before passing out had been, My Master is alive. . . and he’s going to kill us all!
Chapter One
I always knew my Master was still alive. I never felt his death in the Force like I did with others like Master Plo. I didn’t feel anything like that from Master Kenobi or Anakin; the two people in the whole galaxy who I feel closest to.
I never gave up hope that they were both somehow alive. Knowing that there was a chance, however small, that I might see them again gave me strength to make it through the day. Then then days turned into weeks, the weeks to months, the months to years. I longed for the moment when I would feel my master’s presence again. Now, I wish he would have died than be turned into the horrible monster he is now, twisted by the dark side.
What about Obi-Wan? I thought. Is it possible that he turned to the Dark Side as well? No, he couldn’t have. Master Kenobi was a perfect Jedi in every sense of the word. I learned a great deal from him. I sometimes wondered what would have happened had I been assigned a Padawan to Master Kenobi instead of Master Skywalker, as was his plan originally. I still remember the shock on Anakin’s face when I told him that I was to be his Padawan learner instead of Obi-Wan’s.
I was sent to deliver a message from Master Yoda himself to the two Jedi Generals who were trapped on the crystalline planet, Christophsis, with no reinforcements and the droid army moving in. But they had a plan. They always did.
Master Kenobi and the troops of both the 501st and the 212th battalion, would be sent to the front line to create a distraction while Master Skywalker slipped under their ever-expanding shield to destroy the shield generator, allowing our heavy cannons to crush the droid army. I was allowed to tag along with Skywalker despite his claims that there had been some mistake.
All went according to plan-more or less-until we reached the shield generator. The generator was guarded by sentry droids that, when their sensors were tripped, would erupt from the ground. Eventually, I was able to plant the explosives on the generator while Anakin managed to get himself trapped by the droids. I was about to rush to his side when the glare from the system’s sun caught my eye. Looking up, I saw a large hole in a wall behind Skywalker, weakened by the war.
I had moved small objects with the Force before, but this wall was huge. The biggest thing I would move by far. Remembering my training, I calmed my breathing and reached out in the Force to the structure in front of me. I pictured it all in my mind’s eye; the blue-green, semi-transparent wall. I pictured it falling, crushing the droids leaving my soon-to-be Master without a scratch. Suddenly, as if it were made to happen, the wall did exactly that. I opened my eyes that I didn’t realize had closed and saw Skywalker with a stunned look on his face.
“You would have never made it as Obi-Wan’s Padawan,” he had said after the generator had been blown up and the blue hue returned to the sky, “but you might make it as mine.” Was he right? Could I still have become a Jedi as Master Kenobi’s Padawan? Would Master Skywalker still have turned to the Dark Side? I couldn’t help but blame myself.
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I was still adrift in my thoughts and in the Force hours later. Or was it seconds? One can never tell.
Suddenly, I began to move with the flow of the Force, like a leaf falling from it’s branch. But I wasn’t falling. I was rising. Rising into what I thought was consciousness. I began to take in my surroundings. Floating islands. A temple. The Dark Side.
The Force was raw here-tainted though it was. The sheer power of the Force threatened to pull me back into unconsciousness. Mortis. The place where the Light and Dark Sides of the Force were represented by the Daughter and Son respectively. They were kept in check by the Father. This is where I dueled my Master; not sparred as we had done so many times before. This is where I was killed.
Chapter 2
This all came flooding back to me in a fraction of a second. Then I remembered what happened the last time I was here. I looked over to see my younger self. I called out, but I showed no signs of hearing it. I stood there, memorized by myself. My slightly smaller face. My shorter lekku. My two lightsabers hanging from my belt. I look so young. For a while, I-or she?-just stood there, eyes closed, hands still. If I hadn’t known better, I would have said that I was starring at a statue of my younger self. But I did remember. . . the location at least. Now the Force wanted me to re-live it.
We stood there for what felt like hours. I never remembered my brief trip to the Dark Side, brought about by the bite from the Son that left a scar on my hand, but Anakin and Obi-Wan gave enough details that I dreaded what came next. But I was ready for it. What I didn’t expect was what came next.
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I sensed him even before I could hear him. The man who never paid attention to me, never truly appreciated all I had to offer.
“Ahsoka,” he said. “Ahsoka! Come on it’s me. Let’s go”
“Are you proud of me Master?”
“What?” he hesitated, “Of course Snips. Of course I’m proud of you. Now let’s get out of here!”
my eyes snapped open. I hate that name. A label given to me when I was a pathetic youngling. A pathetic Jedi youngling. I focused on my hate, let it flow through my body, just as He had taught me. I turned to face my former Master. “He’s right, Right about everything.” I adopted a tone one would use to talk to a baby, “He only wants what’s best for the universe.”
I watched as his eyes dilated. “Hey, what’s wrong with you?”
“Always with the criticism Master! Never really believing in me! Trusting in me!” I turned my back to him once more and closed my eyes. “I don’t need you anymore.”
“Ahsoka. Ahsoka listen to me. He’s done something to you. Snap out of it. This isn’t you Ahsoka!”
“Isn’t it!?” I snapped. “I feel more like myself than I ever have!” Wasn’t that easy to see? Embracing the Dark Side had given me more power than I ever dreamed possible. It was all because of Him. “He asked me to give you a message. He said, if you don’t join him, he’ll kill me!” I laughed as if catching up with an old friend.
“I won’t let him.”
“Then you will be forced to kill me.” I used to Force to grab my first lightsaber hanging from my belt and ignited it, a green glow blossoming from the end of the hilt. He was so stunned, he nearly fell to my lunged attack. I embraced the Dark Side, giving in to my anger. I was sloppy at first, not accustomed to acting on my rage but I quickly learned to control and focus it.
He adopted a defensive position, blocking my blade with his own when he couldn’t doge. On it went as it always had during lightsaber practice. But this was different. I was aiming to kill. Then Kenobi arrived. I ignited my shoto, identical to my first lightsaber but shorter with a yellow hue instead of green. “Two Jedi. Finally, a challenge.”
My blades became little more to a blur as I pressed my attack, never relenting. The two Jedi still never pressed the attack. They thought I could still be redeemed. They were wrong. I could never turn back, even if I wanted to. I either had to embrace the Dark Side fully, or die.
“Any suggestions?” Anakin said after Force-pushing me away from the pair.
“Yes,” came the reply from Obi-Wan.”We cut her free”. I looked up in time to see him draw a dagger, the blade appearing to form out of the air itself, similar to a lightsaber. I recognized it instantly.
I let loose a horrible scream, my voice echoing with menace “Where did you get that? Give it to me!”
The breaking of glass stopped me in my tracks. Two bodies flew through the air; one radiating with Light, the other Darkness. My Master. The Father landed in front of them. “So glad you could make it to our little party Father!” The Son said before sending crimson forks of lighting shooting toward him.
The Father kept it at bey. “You will stop this!”
“You are too weak for me, old man. You mean nothing to me anymore.” I smiled. I knew it was only a matter of time before his defenses fell. I could hear the anguish in His voice as the Father finally became over powered; the Son was now hitting his Father dead on with the force of his lightning. My attention turned back to the dagger that had the power to kill the Son.
“Anakin, now!” Kenobi shouted as he threw the dagger toward him. I saw my opening. Aided by the Force, I leaped between my Skywalker and the traveling blade, grabbing it as I sped past. I returned to my Master’s side, glancing back at the stunned Jedi.
“Everything has unfolded exactly as I planned.” The Son said.
The Father struggled to his feet. “You showed them the alter?”
“I’m sorry Father,” His daughter replied. “I didn’t know how else to stop Him.”
My eyes never left the Son. “Give it to me child.” he commanded. I glanced back at Anakin. He looked furious.
“Ahsoka no!” He warned. But it was too late. I had made my decision. I handed the blade over to the Son.
He examined the blade. Then, as if bored, he said, “Thank you. Your usefulness has come to an end.” He extended his finger to my forehead. I felt the life being stolen from me. My body dropped to the floor, dead before hitting the ground.
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I woke up screaming. I was dead. He killed me.
No, that wasn’t right. My brain struggled to remember what happened, all those years ago. Anakin had saved me. That was all I could recall of the incident. That was all that mattered.
Then I remembered the present time. The space battle. The single fighter that single handedly destroyed our command ship. The pilot. Anakin Skywalker. A Sith Lord. A monster. And yet, I couldn’t deny the fact that he had saved me from the Dark Side. Could I do the same for him? I knew there was still good in him. How else would I have been able to recognize him in the Force?
I had to try.
Just then, Hera walked in. The twi’lek who owned the Ghost. She glanced at me. “You’re up?”
“How long was I out?” I replied.
“About an hour. Are you okay?”
An hour? It felt like so much more time had passed since first reaching out to that fighter. “I’ve been better. Are Kanan and Ezra around? I need to talk to them.”
“Yeah they’re still on board. Want me to get them?”
“That would be great. Thanks.”
She left, leaving me alone to my thoughts. They can’t know that he trained me. They would never trust me again.
Epilogue
That night, I dreamed of Mortis. Two beings sleeping around a camp fire in a cave illuminated by strange glowing plants. I recognized them both; Master Kenobi and my younger self. Suddenly, I remembered. I was visited by a version of my older self on the first night I spent on Mortis. Now I am that older version.
I never understood the warning I received that night until now. If I hadn’t walked away from the Jedi Order, I would be dead just like the rest of them. I wouldn’t have helped form the rebellion. Now the role is reversed; the Force brought me back here one more time to warn myself. I open myself up to it, letting the Force flow through me and out of my mouth in the form of words.
“Are you happy child?”
Ahsoka gives the group the head of a Clone Wars era tactical droid and her ally’s (Captain Rex), last known location: the Seelos system. I was reminded of one of the fist episodes of the Clone Wars, titled Blue Shadow Virus; Padmé Amidala and Jar Jar Binks use the information from a captured tactical droid to track down a (slightly deranged) Separatist Scientist. Ahsoka might have heard the tactic from Padmé and decided it was worth a try.
Later, the team arrives at the feeding grounds of the Jupa. Zeb is on marching in front of the tank with his signature weapon. Just when the team figure out that Zeb is the bait, not the hunter, he is swallowed by the creature. Ezra and Kanan are each given an electro-staff to shock the line connecting Zeb to the tank while Sabine works on maintaining the generator. After shocking the line three times, the best emerges from the ground, and Rex finishes the job with a single round from the tank to the head. The beast was killed. Zeb comes out unharmed. All the while they were being spied on by the probe droid.
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